Breaking up is never easy, plain and simple. But sometimes, it’s what must be done in order for one door to close and another to open. Recently, I had to break up with my past. As in literal past not past-ex. Due to encephalitis, I’ve lost 10+ years of partial memory. Also, I can’t seem to remember details about intimate relationships, family or key friendships during that time. It’s those memories I’ve been mourning and recently had to break up with. So here I am, writing about breaking up with my past and crossing my fingers this advice might serve as mature steps to take when breaking up with someone or something. Here they are:
- Spend time with yourself and decide 100% that this is what you want to do. Meaning, don’t do this for your family or friends. Do this for you.
- Eat and drink healthy leading up to breakup. A good 48 hours of clean eating will be your saving grace, trust me.
- Jot down 2 reasons why this breakup is necessary. For example: I do not share the same lifestyle or I do not see this as a long term relationship.
- Do not tell anyone you are going to do this unless they are 100% trustworthy.
- Ask your current partner to meet somewhere safe to talk.
- When you meet-up, address the topic immediately and respectfully. No pointing the finger or yelling. Also, keep your voice at a constant volume.
- Listen to your partner. This may entail hearing things that could potentially make you sad. Understand that these words might be out of shock or hurt so don’t turn aggressive. Stay calm.
- After you’ve listened, walk away. Please, do not say “Thank you for listening” as the “Thank you” may be construed wrong. Just say “I appreciate you meeting me and I should go now.”
- Go somewhere and hang out by yourself and preferably with no alcohol in arms reach. Try catching a movie with a big bag of popcorn or a baseball game. Anything that can take your mind off of what just happened.
- Wait at least 72 hours before you speak to your ex-partner. You’ll both need time to cool-off and whatever you do, stick to your plan. After all, you accomplished step 1 with 100% honesty so surely being at step 10 may be sad but bearable.
The above steps can be dotted lined to confronting your past or even leaving a job. The important thing is that you took the time to confront your life and not ghost, ie. ignore. Let me know what you think in the comments or use #fiesta in your social media comments. xo Moni
PS. Do not post anything negative about your ex on social media. Best to steer clear of promoting toxic energy.